# Torah 15 - The Hidden Light

> מקור: https://rabenu.app/books/kitvey-en/15/torah-15/

a) Someone who wants to taste the hidden light, that's to say, the secrets of the Torah that will be revealed in the future, has to raise the attribute of fear to its source. This one achieves through judgement, which is an aspect of private meditation between yourself and your Maker when you speak out your heart before the Holy One, judging yourself with regard to all your affairs. This removes from upon you all kinds of extraneous fears and, thus, raises holy fear from its fall, for when a person doesn't judge himself, then they judge him in the world above and the result is that fear becomes clothed in all the things of the world; they become messengers from above to make judgement against this person, as decreed, meaning that he can receive his punishment through all the things in the world. We often see that when a person deserves a punishment and suffering, Heaven forbid, it often comes about by a simple cause, by a small thing that one wouldn't have dreamt could cause such a sickness and suffering as this. But this is all because the decree from above has taken the form of this thing in order to carry out the judgement he deserves. When a person doesn't judge himself this happens, but if he judges himself then the decree is nullified in the world above and he doesn't have to afraid of anything; his decree doesn't materialize because he himself cancelled it in the world above. Fear isn't clothed in anything to arouse him for he arouses himself. This raises fear to its source so that it will only be fear of G-d and not fear of any physical thing. By this, a person merits to the hidden light.

b) Whoever wants to taste from this hidden light should pray and speak to G-d a great deal in a quiet place and judge himself regularly if his affairs and actions are fitting and whether it is proper to behave like this against the Holy One who bestows him so much good at all times; "he conducts his affairs justly"( Psalms,112,5). A person should judge himself about everything. By this he will remove from himself all sorts of fears and be saved from fallen fears such as fear of government officials or bosses, animals or thieves or anything else in the world. Rather he will fear and be in awe only of G-d. Through this he will raise fear to its source in holy understanding. He will merit to full understanding, to know Who to fear, to fear the awesome G-d alone, fear of His exaltedness. Then he will merit to understand the revealed aspects of the Torah and attain true humility. This leads to the ability to pray with self-nullification such that one nullifies all one's being and material existence while praying; one prays without any self interest. You must nullify your materialistic aspects completely, as if you weren't in the world at all, as it says, " we are killed all day long." ( Psalms,44,23).Then one can ascertain the hidden secrets of the Torah which is the hidden light which will be revealed in the future. All this one merits to through personal prayers.

c) The essence of understanding is in the heart for even the gentiles have understanding but it is without the heart. The main understanding is in the heart, as it says, "The L-rd has not given you a heart to understand." (Deut.29,3). And there, in the heart, is the place of fear. That means the essence of understanding is in the heart and not in the mind alone. That's to say, a person has to connect his understanding to within his heart such that awe and fear of G-d's greatness overcomes him and arouses him to truly serve G-d. Then he will merit to a sublime, holy fear, fear of G-d's exaltedness so that he knows Who to fear. All this one achieves through meditation and self-

judgement and , by this, one merits to the hidden light. Happy is he who merits to this.

d) When we call G-d using human descriptions, He is close to us in all that we call to Him; this is an act of loving kindness on G-d's part. If not for this loving kindness, it wouldn't be proper to call or refer to Him with such terms, descriptions, praises, words or letters. From this itself, a person should arouse himself and pray with great enthusiasm while remembering the greatness of the Creator, each person according to what he feels in his heart. He is far more sublime and exalted than all these descriptions and praises; it is just His love, mercy and great loving kindness that gave us permission to address Him in these terms and to pray before Him in order to cleave to Him. This being so, it is fitting to say these words and descriptions wholeheartedly, with great concentration and self-sacrifice since we merit, through His great love, to call Him with these terms.

e) There is an aspect of a Snake that entices a person to pray for his own benefit, like a dog that barks ' give me life and food ' or other benefits. One has to overcome this and try to pray without any ulterior motive, as if one doesn't exist in the world. By this, one merits to the light which is hidden away for tzaddikim.

f) The Holy One craves for the prayers of Israel, so when Jews pray before Him they satisfy His desire. Then He receives pleasure from us, like a woman (whose essence is to receive), as it says, "a fire-offering of pleasing odor to the L-rd" (Numbers,28,8). By the pleasing odor He receives, He becomes an aspect of a woman ( 'isha') as alluded to in the word 'burnt offering ( 'ishei'). This is like it says," a woman will surround a man" (Jeremiah,31,21). The Holy One becomes revealed, so to speak, like a garment. That's to say, previously He was hidden, but now, through prayer, He becomes revealed. The Holy One and the Torah are one, so, by prayer, Torah becomes revealed meaning the secrets of the Torah.

g) It is only possible to understand the secrets of the Torah when you "make your face black like a raven's" (Eruvin,54) and act ruthlessly to one's young like a raven. This is a form of self-sacrifice, as is written, "We are killed all day long" (Psalms,44), when one prays with total self-nullification of the physical self.

h) The secret aspects of the Torah are called 'holy' and "no common man shall eat thereof" (Leviticus,21,10). Only those who are His holy ones and those close to Him will eat. They are an aspect of the holy Temple.